Thread: little baby midget poems. i LIKE EM. | Forum | Gaia Online
Started 1 month, 4 weeks ago by kikkaku
Stained
Those coarse, dry, hands
cradle the Word.
And Glimpses are heard
of embittering talk.
But I stand up
to kneel for the heart,
and blood-stained hands
From centuries ago.
My hands.
I wash them clean,
So coarse, so dry.
images
Upon the consumption of reverie
I return to the gray where every
wave and shape dances
whenever called,
and I am engulfed by a...
ashiro6 i like them. They've got a good flow to it is there a message to be conveyed?
the first has more of a message and an introspect, the second is more.....the observation of an experience, so there is less of a message to it.
The Mysterious Gunslinger Sounded like every other person on Gaia, to be honest.
"I wrote a poem, think it's good-- when I need a lot of work".
Move along.
that's because pieces are best done as a collaborative process with other writers.
it's called peer review.
this isn't a finished project, when it is i'll share it just to share like the first poem.
The Mysterious Gunslinger replied 1 month, 4 weeks ago
kikkaku The Mysterious Gunslinger Sounded like every other person on Gaia, to be honest.
"I wrote a poem, think it's good-- when I need a lot of work".
Move along.
that's because pieces are best done as a collaborative process with other writers.
it's called peer review.
this isn't a finished project, when it is i'll share it just to share like the first poem.
Then,...
The Mysterious Gunslinger kikkaku The Mysterious Gunslinger Sounded like every other person on Gaia, to be honest.
"I wrote a poem, think it's good-- when I need a lot of work".
Move along.
that's because pieces are best done as a collaborative process with other writers.
it's called peer review.
this isn't a finished project, when it is i'll share it just to share like ...
kikkaku what would you do to make the second one better?
(i say second becuase the first one is finished and has been published, so i consider it untouchable)
I briefly read over both, and I think your second poem is stronger than your first. In what way do you think the first is untouchable? Just curious.
It's been a while since I've tried writing out a critique or a helpful ...
kikkaku The Mysterious Gunslinger Sounded like every other person on Gaia, to be honest. "I wrote a poem, think it's good-- when I need a lot of work". Move along. that's because pieces are best done as a collaborative process with other writers. it's called peer review. this isn't a finished project, when it is i'll share it just to share like the first poem. Then, uh, y'know. Collaborate....
kikkaku what would you do to make the second one better? (i say second becuase the first one is finished and has been published, so i consider it untouchable) I briefly read over both, and I think your second poem is stronger than your first. In what way do you think the first is untouchable? Just curious. It's been a while since I've tried writing out a critique or a helpful comment in general for someone on here, but I can come...
Após longo dia no Open de Voleibol em Gaia, voltei para... Após longo dia no Open de Voleibol em Gaia, voltei para Braga para ter 1ª aula do curso de Photoshop. Saldo positivo! apesar d tar c xono :P 4:09 PM Mar 31st from DestroyTwitter
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