I'd say that if this was for the SAT I Essay prompt (and it addressed a question based on this)
this would get like a 5 or 6.
Reason:
The topic, firstly, is too cliche (the reader always wants something unusual to make life better). Secondly, there's not a strong thesis statement in this passage. Thirdly, there's a lot of grammatical/spelling mistakes. This passage does not address the ...
Thread: can you please grade my essay?????!!!!!  |
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Started 1 month, 1 week ago by essamelmasry
In considering the issue of weather we should be original or imitate others,many people assume that success can be approached in a single,ossified way.However,surfing through "History", and "Technology",I am inclined to believe otherwise. mainly, I bleieve in the fact that an ordeal can be approached in a surfeit of ways.Hence,being original is the best of those ways to achieve success....
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jsungoh replied 1 month, 1 week ago
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cgb8007 replied 1 month, 1 week ago
"Another example which expouses my point...", "A third example which fosters my opinion..."
Come on man, you can make better transitions!
You'd probably get a 5, possibly a 6 but unlikely
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007imagine replied 1 month, 1 week ago
It almost seems like you're using fancy vocabulary and long-winded transitions to mask the lack of substance. However, I'm not one to criticize...my first attempt on the essay received a pitiful score. Oh well, I was in 7th grade. =)
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xrCalico23 replied 1 month, 1 week ago
^Why is there a lack of substance? I actually think the writer of this essay developed a very strong thesis (originality is the best way to achieve success), provided three great examples (Google, Salinger, and Rosa Parks), and the essay itself is well organized. In addition, I think the transitions themselves are actually the assets of this essay, connecting the writer's main points in a smooth,...
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essamelmasry replied 1 month, 1 week ago
thank you all for your comments...
frensh is actually my first language....that's why i am not too good at writing...
and i am working on boosting my WRITINGS..
i'd like to read some sample essays, if u please send me some..
p.s i got 2000 in OCT 2009
WR 700 MATH 800 CR 500..
8 essay score
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essamelmasry replied 1 month, 1 week ago
In considering the question of whether we should cooperate or compete to gain success, most people assume that competition is the only way to achieve success. However, surfing "HISTORY" and "LITERTURE", as well as facing life experiences, I am inclined to believe otherwise. Mainly, I believe in the fact that cooperation is much more likely to engender significant, lasting accomplishments....
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essamelmasry replied 1 month, 1 week ago
spaces are not copied coreectly from the word document..
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jsungoh replied 1 month, 1 week ago
Hmm.
This one is a little more onto a 6-7 (more leaning on 6)
Reasons:
Don't jump around on your topic. Stick to one topic and make it strong. For example, if the prompt is like:
Is a hero created by accidents?
Talk about a specific event in your life or some story (not a common story like "Catcher in the Rye"), and describe. Use SAT words properly to describe things, make the ...
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essamelmasry replied 1 month, 1 week ago
anyways thanks...
i'll try to do my best in my next essay..
but i have some problems with choosing the examples
if you have some good examples, please send them to me.
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essamelmasry replied 1 month, 1 week ago
may you please send me one of your essays to take a look at your writings!!!
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