Thread: Vent - In laws

Thanks again everyone. BIL finally called last night to find out what we found out from the court. He was supposed to call Monday. He claimed he'd been sick. DH was too chicken to deal with it all so he told BIL he'd have to call him back. DH had plenty of opportunities to call after kids went to bed but didn't. DH tried to excuse BIL not calling as he promised with sickness excuse. I just rolled my eyes. DH e-mailed MIL asking...

Quote: Originally Posted by mebby I'm not sure what DH is going to do. I'm still trying to get him to consider BIL t BIL won't be homeless paychecks get garnished. I'm still trying to convince DH that helping is not the only option and that if he does help then I want it to be loan from us rather than co-signing with a bank. Why is this just your DH's decision? You are a team and you should decide together.

Loaning money is a totally different situation than co-signing a loan. Co-signing a loan puts your own financial future in jeopardy. If you loan money you have you can only lose money. If you cosign a loan you can lose your good credit---and you can't get that back even if you sue them for the money.

Quote: Originally Posted by crazyfun Sometimes the best way to help someone, is to let them have consequences. AMEN!!!!

another thought for you. my parents co-signed for my sister years ago. she was in a lot of debt and they thought that by consolidating her debt she would get out of debt and be debt free. they were able to co-sign and willing to help her out. long story short, she ended up with the consolidation loan plus more debt. 15+ years later, she is still in a lot of debt. anyways, even though she DID make all of her payments, my parents were not able...

Hubs has an interesting perspective on this. He works with troubled accounts, and he says that one of the saddest things to see is a person or family with otherwise good credit and a small nest egg walk into the bank and find that their savings account has been liquidated because they cosigned for a loan on which the primary defaulted. The default causes the loan to be called due in full according to the terms of the contract, and if the...

Good luck! Obviously I know where you stand. I hope your DH really thinks this through. Mentally prepare yourself to pay off this entire debt if he co-signs. Because that might be the situation. Best wishes!

Everyone else will probably disagree with me but I would just say no. Obviously your husband wants to help out his brother, but I think this is a time when your own family should take priority. You've saved the money for YOUR family's emergency, not the emergency of an irresponsible sibling. From where I stand there's more potential for marital discord in the event that you do lend the BIL the Money and he doesn't repay you.

If your BIL is living rent-free, there is no excuse for him to have let this happen. It's not like he's trying to keep a roof over a family's head (like YOUR DH is!) He has already been using people while he plays, and it's time for him to take some responsibility. He can pay the judgment. The court will set up a payment plan for him. He made this bed and he needs to lie in it, and I really hope your dh will tell his...

Don't do it! Banks are anxious to loan money. If someone needs a co-signer it is because the bank knows the person is too big of a risk and is not likely going to be able to pay it off. Saying no can cause temporary problems between the two parties, but saying yes often causes more problems. The person getting the help often begrudges the person giving it. They are often angry about the situation they are in, and don't think about...