Thread: Remembrance. | Gaia Online

Yes, a critique would be wonderful about now.

it doesn't sound finished to me. like reading i feel like there's a snetence missing at the end.

it very much reminds me of the other one you wrote... bitter, i think..? but good, still... i think you should say that it's from a man's perspective in the poem, or at least hint at it. cuz i had no clue until u said it straight out at the end. like i said, good.

Makenna S C Korzha it very much reminds me of the other one you wrote... bitter, i think..? but good, still... i think you should say that it's from a man's perspective in the poem, or at least hint at it. cuz i had no clue until u said it straight out at the end. like i said, good. I like it! Great job!

I like it a lot. Lots of beautiful imagery and strong warm feelings. Maybe a bit too feminine. For me at least. I think the shovel line doesn't work out too well. It's pretty hard to use, lol. The idea of staying frozen forever in the sun with your lover, damn that's romantic. I like how you phrased everything as well. I hope this helped, even a little.