Thread: Oprah.com Community: Can't Get Over My Husbands Affair ...

brnwheel1: I'm happy your friendship with this man managed to help both of your marriages but I do not believe most men out there are looking to "befriend" women for friendship sake! Men are not wired like we are. Just read any of the self help books out there. It just doesn't happen. But like I said I'm glad you indeed have a genuine friendship........... As far as the posters husband ending the...

The exact same thing happened to me only I listened (in shock...could not put the phone down..) the first thing that struck me is that he sounded soooo much younger and was happy. He is very miserable when communicating to me...pedantic, sarcastic, demeaning....still is...(I just ignore it!) It was all very surreal to listen and a memory I will NEVER FORGET. Glad I did not hang up though...that is the only reason he EVER was truthful with me.

Thank you all for your great advice. It really made me think of choices I have to make. I have made a decision to stop letting this OW have any importance in my life. I am not going to call her or think of her. I am putting all my effort into working on my marriage, and making it better than ever. I think this would be the best revenge. I am going to be the best wife to my husband, and even though I still fear that I will be betrayed by him...

That may have worked out for you BUT in the majority of cases a man does not want to become emotionally involved with a woman (unless it's a female relative) without hoping it will eventually lead to something else. As girl said, men are just wired that way. In reality most men would rather bond with their male buddies over having a few beers and watching football than sit around talking about their emotions with a women friend.

ogsmith, I agree with you here. It does no good to spend energy on the other woman in this case. She is but a small and insignificant player in this marriage. Considering the husband's "emotional affair" as a wake-up call is exactly the right way to view it. The bonds between a husband and a wife need to be nurtured or things like outside friendships occur. We all need to be emotionally fed. I am not saying it is okay to go...

Dove630, You have hit the nail on the head! Alice and all, It is all about opening those doors to emotional intimacy where you both can really know each other...your fears, your joys, your frustrations, your dreams.......that is what needs to happen for the marriage to heal....you already have years together and that is something to celebrate by itself....now you have discovered a crack to open up and explore together with your...

I find that most woman are too insecure in their marriages. Most of the time it is the stay at home wives, who have no way of supporting themselves if their husband left or they left their husband. I have found that men respect women more when they can have a none sexual relationship with me. If a man is going to cheat and man is going to cheat...............! Either you are going to accept that or tell him what will happen if he does and...

I'm putting on my sweater, its getting cold in here

i think your husband is the one who needs a talkin' to. Once a cheater always capable of being a cheater again

You are one of the luck ones,because I too was promised the same thing 12 years ago.He said he would never break my heart.Well,last year he had a emotional affair with an ex girlfriend for 7 weeks.This is worse than a sexual affair because I will never know what was they discussed.So,I have decided to live for today,tomorrow is not here yet and yesterday is gone.P.S. this new way of thinking took me 14 months as my health and marriage are far...