Thread: I'm wide awake and need to get this out of my system

Ironically, that's the thing I was talking about, physical contact with other people, I find it kind of difficult, he seemed to think that maybe there'd been consistent sexual abuse, but I don't really remember that, and said so, I mean, it was a long time ago now, but I didn't really want to think about that, I'm just trying to distract myself from it all at the moment.

Quote: Originally Posted by ChristmasCake I don't have a working printer, although that would have been a good idea, would have saved me having to talk about it. Well, try to stay strong then and just tell your councellor what you have told us, or the alternative, if your councellor has a computer and printer, is print it off when you get to his/her office You're stronger than you realise, I'm sure you can do this. I have...

Pat on the back for that one CC :-)

Quote: Originally Posted by ChristmasCake I have to go now. I really do appreciate the replies, and although I'm not taking all of the advice straight away, it's not because I think it's wrong, it's just because it's hard to try and do everything at once. I'm really glad my therapy session is tomorrow because I can start to talk about some of this, which I guess will only help. I've been running away from it...

Quote: Originally Posted by xHx OP, this really IS NOT your fault, in an sense of the term. You are in no way to blame - he was a sick individual who took advantage of a vulerable young child. Now part of me urges you to get in touch with the Police - if he was willing to do it to you all those years ago, then there may be a strong chance he will do it again to someone else in the future. However, i also realise how hard it is for you to post...

Quote: Originally Posted by Widow57 I realise that you find it difficult to trust people and that probably includes the authorities but please believe that there are people out there who care and who you can trust. OP I agree with the above post about trust and apart from the awful details you mention about what this lad did to you, it is this trust you may be finding as hard to deal with too. I too have trust issues too having been hit by...

Hope all goes well for you today

Quote: Originally Posted by ChristmasCake I was quite tempted to phone in sick to work, but that'd probably just make things worse, so I'm going to get ready and go in. It's Friday at least so I'll be busy enough to be distracted. I'll be back later probably. Good for you. You really are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

OP please realise that nothing that you did could ever be an excuse for the abuse this older boy did to you. He was never a friend, he groomed a little boy and you probably were not the first he abused. He picked up on the fact as your brother got older he wanted to hang out with his mates not you. I feel sad you have suffered for so many years feeling you are to blame. Your mum may have felt you were an annoying 9 year old but that does not...

I am in awe of you. The courage you have to have written all that and faced it in some way. I admire you. I understand about not hitting submit. I have anxiety problems and obsess over wether to post or not then keep editing it afterwards, most of the time deleting it. You are strong, very, very strong. You're still here aren't you? That takes guts. Even if you have contemplated suicide you haven't done it. You may say,...