Thread: Cheating

Quote: Originally Posted by Wonderer I am saying that I believe that if a woman posted much the same as the OP did on this partner forum she would have gotten a much different set of 'advice.' Perhaps I'm wrong. I would hope so. Just my perception. I wouldn't change my mind at all...

Why are you here, decades?

Quote: Originally Posted by Gilgamesh I personally dislike cheating but monogamy is very distasteful to me, it feels to be against nature and a source of great frustration to men in particular. So much of the stuff posted here deals with the fallout from failed attempts at monogamy /monoandry. I think that is what you focused on but lying, loss of trust is really bigger, cheating is just part of a problem marriage or relationship. You can say...

NM I am not going to take the bait.

Amen.

Quote: Originally Posted by mickleb I have to admit, I haven't been able to read the book, yet as bloody amazon haven't delivered it, yet. I just think it's important to be open to other people. If the book advocates telling people what you think is the only viewpoint (your own), I can't see how that's helpful. Being genuine doesn't mean he has to be open or that he has to be helpful. Maybe you want helpful and...

Quote: Originally Posted by chevy1947 I think that is what you focused on but lying, loss of trust is really bigger, cheating is just part of a problem marriage or relationship. You can say monogamy makes it happy but I think it is really a much larger problem of the relationship. Would not work for me, if I wanted to have other women I would not marry, its that simple. Sex is a normal activity and so are a lot of other body functions, you...

Ive been on both sides-- cheated on and cheater. If I had to do it all over again I would have never cheated of course... But the truth will ALWAYS find a way out. Maybe not today or a year from now-- but that chance meeting and the odd word will react with the ozone and produce clarity on someones part. I am firmly in the camp that I would rather know the crushing truth than live in bliss. I cannot stomach ( and will not) the thought that my...

Quote: Originally Posted by Wonderer I think that's backward engineering designed to comfort the cheater for failing to face the possible consequences of their actions if the one who was cheated on found out. It's fear/guilt/shame that will stop you from telling the truth. Not some altruistic idea that you're doing the right thing by bearing your fear/guilt/shame alone and sparing her from pain or suffering. You are simply...