Thread: Breaking Free Again

Why does it always come back to women for NG's? This is the question I have asked myself earlier and never came to a conclusion I accepted. Until now. At the end of the day, I want the FEELING -- not the knowledge -- but the FEELING that I am truly okay just as I am. Some days, I feel like I am, others I don't. Now as a child and adolescent, I came to believe that women are always right, at some level. The book talks about how...

Hi PleasingMyself. I feel for you. I'm aware of what you've described and have been so for many years. I'm white. I don't claim to understand more than being aware. But I feel for you.

Things have been like a roller coaster- up & down, but I'm just going forward. Things I'm Thankful For: Intelligence - God blessed me with book smarts and common sense . . . 2 Parents who love me and would do anything for me Ability to communicate with all different types of people- race, age, gender I'm athletic, more so then most people, I have a good body I have good looks, looks don't mean much but I'm...

One of the things that turned me off porn towards the end was bangbus.com. I quite liked the gonzo filming but their misogynistic attitude was really off putting. Quote: Originally Posted by PleasingMyself I realized what I was doing was wrong, FOR ME. Perhaps reframing it as a "waste of time" or something similar might take away some of the negative feelings.

Quote: Originally Posted by PleasingMyself Who I want to be: Why haven't you defeated porn yet? You sit there and make progress for two weeks, and then give in. Are you that weak? I don't think you are that weak, and I know you believe you aren't that weak. So what's your excuse for dealing with the same problem over and over again? No, 'it's just very hard' is not going to cut it. You have come so far, and...

Quote: Originally Posted by PleasingMyself I feel such relief at finishing tasks. Every task I finished today I felt more and more energy. I guess the stress of not having so much on my mind, along with the subconscious feeling I wasn't living up to my potential is gone once I finish tasks. I'm going to keep doing this everyday until it's a habit. The porn goes right along with it, it's a procrastination device used to...

You made me remember something pleasingmyself with your second answer there - I have this thing about wanting EVERY woman to like me. Don't know why - maybe to compensate in some way for those girls earlier in my life who didn't like me? You're so right though - there's no way every woman can like you (I.e. want to have sex with you) - not even Brad Pitt or George Clooney could claim that as I've heard girls say that...

Quote: Originally Posted by PleasingMyself RuffW, I found it interesting you mentioned noting ways in being selfish could bring up negative things. I found it interesting because it never occurred to me that negative things might happen -- which is fine -- but it adds one more thing I need to be aware of. Hey Andy, I ask myself the same question, am I really committed? If I'm honest, the answer is no, I'm not. Actually, I am going...

Quote: Originally Posted by PleasingMyself I am afraid to post this on a public forum, which is a sign it's what I must do. I have come a long way with still room to go. I'm trying to think about things I have shame about, things that might be holding me back from true greatness. I'm going to talk about racial shame. It's hard for many people to relate because many have the privledge or rarely having to think about their...

One of the criticisms I have about Dr Glover's book relates to this: that morphing from NG-ness to IM-ness is more of a process than a destination, and the OP pretty much nailed it on the head with this quote: Quote: Originally Posted by PleasingMyself At the very least, this NGS is like anything, porn addiction, alcholism, etc, you don't "beat" this thing, you have to constantly do it. Glover's book and...