New 30sec spa & motel commercial | Thread profile

Hi folks, Just finished a recent 30 second commercial for the Elephant Butte Inn and Ivory Spa, located in southern New Mexico. The spot will hopefully air in El Paso, for an NBC-channel affiliate. http://madjavaproductions.com/EBInn_..._30secSpot. wmv Shot on the XL2, 30p, with the stock 20x lens, and the 3x wide. First time color grading with MB Looks. Let me know what y'...

I thought it was great. Perhaps I would reverse the first two shots and replace the fade to blacks with cuts at the start. Also, some of your titles go by too quickly to read. That's no good...The voice over is a bit flat. Could use some energy. But looks really great, well edited and shot and effective. Nice work.

Quote: Originally Posted by Vito DeFilippo I thought it was great. Perhaps I would reverse the first two shots and replace the fade to blacks with cuts at the start. Also, some of your titles go by too quickly to read. That's no good...The voice over is a bit flat. Could use some energy. But looks really great, well edited and ...

Quote: Originally Posted by Jeff Anselmo We were trying to follow the VO narration, so we thought the shot of the woman entering the spa should go first. Yeah, I figured that, but I find that kind of spoonfeeding a little too direct. But whatever works for you. The lake shot after the spa just looked a little ...

Couple of things. First off, LOVE the first shot...looks beautiful. The second shot...eh. I mean, I've never been to that part of New Mexico, but does that still shot of the lake say "Elephant Butte"? Where's the rest of the town? Is the spa the only building there? The VO is OK, I can see where you're going with the relaxed part. A bit too much of a pause between ideas, though. Also...

Quote: Originally Posted by Jonathan Kirsch First off, LOVE the first shot...looks beautiful. The second shot...eh. I mean, I've never been to that part of New Mexico, but does that still shot of the lake say "Elephant Butte"? Where's the rest of the town? Is the spa the only building there? The VO is OK, I can see where you'...