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No More Mr. Nice Guy Online Support Group -... - www.nomoremrniceguy.com | Site profile
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Top authors on No More Mr. Nice Guy Online Support Group - Powered by vBulletin during last week:
user's latest post:
Funny, sad, and all too true -...
Published (2009-11-20 17:40:00)
But doesn't it work that way. I don't think a woman is capable of liking you unless she things another girl is attracted to you. ONce I was working as a lifeguard. I had a girl I was interested in but she was being coy. I asked a female friend to come up and flirt with me. She did, and we about had a fight. I think this article says something about the value of not letting a woman think she "owns" you. She needs to...
user's latest post:
She wants out
Published (2009-11-20 21:11:00)
Quote: Originally Posted by Corsair Do you love her, do you want her? If so, I would pack my bags and move back in, apologized for the pussy note, admit your mistakes and shortcomings and let her know that from this day forward your going to change yourself. Tell her you want to go to counseling. If she wants out let her move out. It ain't over until YOU decide it's over. Corsair Never give up your rights and move out, let her move...
user's latest post:
She wants out
Published (2009-11-21 03:56:00)
I think you are handling this alright atm. No 1 - protect yourself. No 2 - take some time to figure out what you want. No 3 - your wife is obviously not sure if she wants in or out of the relationship. This is unacceptable - she can't keep changing her mind. Tell her this and if her behaivour continues accept that divorce is a real possibility. Good Luck !
user's latest post:
down time for chevy - Page 3 -...
Published (2009-11-18 11:35:00)
Quote: Originally Posted by chevy1947 Guys: I want to throw this out to all of you. I need some down time, my stress level is almost at the breaking point with money issues, business issues and feeling frustrated. In truth it is showing in my extreme lack of tolerance on this forum. I stand by my beliefs but I find I can't express myself and when I read what I have written I think that all came out back asswards. I just have not had any...
user's latest post:
Question about 1st dates
Published (2009-11-20 17:44:00)
it's not just the first date or two. It's always. what you are trying to project is "strength"..in charge, a man with a plan, chill, nothing "gets" to you, etc...good luck.
user's latest post:
How do I stop being a wuss? -...
Published (2009-11-21 00:57:00)
Quote: Originally Posted by Solitude Timely. I've just been bitten by the salsa bug, and hope to have time next year to do ballroom as well In the last two weeks, salsa has changed my mood more than anything else! Javier has it: I've learned to expect women to dance with me, though since I've only been doing it for 4 weeks, I still get a bit apologetic about being a beginner Tonight though there's a big party here, so...
user's latest post:
Question about 1st dates
Published (2009-11-20 18:47:00)
This is a deceptively profound question. We read, talk, write, contemplate and work on our issues but when it comes to show time, there they are: the old way we are used to acting with women or the temptation with charging ahead with this knowledge and doing the tough jerk bit. I personally don't recommend the crash-and-burn thing, to each his own and it seems to work for some people. For me at least, it would create more harm than good....
user's latest post:
Question about 1st dates
Published (2009-11-20 17:46:00)
Quote: Originally Posted by Beagle On the first date or two, how do you draw the line between being a NG-acting too interested and eager to please- and coming off as a self-centered jerk? It seems like I've been struggling with that on the first date. Coming off as 'NG-acting' or as a 'Jerk'? It doesn't really matter, those are two sides of the same coin. They're just labels. As soon as you start thinking of...
user's latest post:
Attachment to Outcome - Page 2 -...
Published (2009-11-17 18:24:00)
We take an action desiring and seeking a result, and we ignore the experience itself, or we view the experience as an annoying obstacle to that result. "lifes a journey, not a destination."
user's latest post:
Respect from wife - Page 2 - No...
Published (2009-11-19 21:06:00)
Quote: Originally Posted by startrek I'm going to tell my wife the following. I don't get the respect I deserve. I don't get good passionate sex (and that's an understatement). It hurts me when you speak to me in a condescending manner so often. I need to be spoken to with respect and not anger. If I don't receive these things from you, then I will have to look elsewhere. What do you guys think? It won't work....
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Top 10 active forums on No More Mr. Nice Guy Online Support Group - Powered by vBulletin during last week:
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Top 10 forums on No More Mr. Nice Guy Online Support Group - Powered by vBulletin:
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Latest active threads on No More Mr. Nice Guy Online Support Group - Powered by vBulletin:
Started 2 weeks ago (2009-11-09 05:52:00)
by The Anathema
There has not been much set up to be honest, it seems NGs seem very sparse in the UK. There is a post for Scotland where 'recovering ng' has discussed setting up a session, but very little has been mentioned from other users. Perhaps the UK is not fully aware of the NG book just yet. Lets hope we can do something soon.
Started 3 days, 1 hour ago (2009-11-20 12:04:00)
by reborn
Lots of questions, like: how old are you, how long married, any children, where are you living now... What are you learning from the BFs? And what do you want to happen? Look really deep into yourself, and ask whether leaving was because you want free of her, or was it a manouver to get her back?
Started 6 months ago (2009-05-21 20:58:00)
by EIGHT
Kick ass good work. Doing stuff like what you described is fun
Started 6 days, 18 hours ago (2009-11-16 19:19:00)
by Boricua
Hi fonz,
Have you done the BF exercises? One of the last exercises asks a poignant question - what would you be doing with your life if you had no limitations, e.g., bills, family, mortgage, etc?
For me, the answer was frightening - be a musician. I've loved music ever since I was a child, and always fantasized about writing music and being in a band. I never considered it up until this ...
Started 1 year, 10 months ago (2008-01-13 19:20:00)
by JayGatsby
Hawkeye if you think Salsa is an aggressive dance you haven't seen couples dance to Reggaeton, especially the women.
One word comes to mind: SEX
Women in short skirts and some even go commando, it's a sight worth seeing!
Not a very Christian envirnment, but hey, we're only human.
Started 2 days, 23 hours ago (2009-11-20 14:33:00)
by Beagle
SOme of us tend to be intellectualizers, and that's undoubtedly what your therapist is talking about. It's important to achieve balance. Some people are slaves to their feelings. I tend to intellectualize problems. That's a basic personality trait and not necessarily a bad one. THere are strengths and weaknesses to each approach.
If you are truly disconnected from your emotions, the ...
Started 2 days, 21 hours ago (2009-11-20 16:16:00)
by Beagle
Started 2 weeks, 6 days ago (2009-11-02 18:46:00)
by Solitude
What do you want?
Say out loud "I want ....." to give yourself some clarity.
Have you discussed the affair with her? If everything came out onto the table, could you forgive her?
Do you want to stay married? It appears not. If you are really unwilling "to feel close to her" you are doing her and yourself a disservice by maintaining a fascade.
I don't know how old your kids are, but...
Started 2 days, 20 hours ago (2009-11-20 17:44:00)
by decades
it's not just the first date or two. It's always. what you are trying to project is "strength"..in charge, a man with a plan, chill, nothing "gets" to you, etc...good luck.
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Hot threads for last week on No More Mr. Nice Guy Online Support Group - Powered by vBulletin:
Started 5 days ago (2009-11-18 12:57:00)
by btr
I think if you focus on learning to respect yourself and get that down,then
you won't give a rat's ass about what she thinks of you. How do you learn
to respect yourself?? Read the book and do the excerises...get out with the
guys.
Started 4 days, 2 hours ago (2009-11-19 11:14:00)
by heftysmurf
Yes it does.
Check www.bpdfamily.org . Good articles good forums.
Get the following book ASAP:
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Secondary book I would recomend is "When I say No I Feel Guilty".
You need tactics to deal with someone like your W.
Rational though processes do not work....
Started 6 days, 7 hours ago (2009-11-17 06:01:00)
by reborn
Good questions, which I too have struggled with....
Started 5 days, 4 hours ago (2009-11-18 08:50:00)
by JackNicholson
Paulo,
First off, don't move in with her. Moving in with her is not going to improve your situation (but I think you know that already). I know this can be kind of difficult. Girls tend to slowly take over your place, so slowly that you don't notice first. Does she have a key to your place yet? Has she taken over any closet space? Drawers?
Next is her age. Girls don't hit their sexual peak...
Started 4 days, 4 hours ago (2009-11-19 09:36:00)
by Tower of Power
Quote:
Originally Posted by TUIB
Hi everyone. I'm brand new and just getting into the book. I'm in total crisis mode right now. My situation is very similar to the resent post on emotional affair. I read it all and learned a lot.
I have one daughter. My wife has hooked up with an old friend long distance. Nothing physical yet. This...
Started 6 days, 20 hours ago (2009-11-16 17:42:00)
by tokolos
Listen to your gut, what is the experience telling you?
Are you dating different women or is this the first?
Started 4 days, 23 hours ago (2009-11-18 14:40:00)
by Beagle
Yes!
During my divorce, my bicycle literally kept me from cracking up. Now, when I'm stressed, I leave it all inthe weight room.
Anyone who trains hard can definitely tell you there is a physiological effect. It's nice to know the biological mechanism is being researched. One thing that was interesting about the research in this article is that exercise buffers you against future ...
Started 1 week, 2 days ago (2009-11-13 16:27:00)
by I think I think
Not sure where you live but I got my wife to start listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio (google him and his website has button to find a local station). His basic principles are to live with in your means (act your wage) and make a plan. Sometimes I think it helps to have both people listen to an "expert" so that the inter-politics don't get in the way. They offer a class you can take at a ...
Started 1 year ago (2008-11-13 02:09:00)
by Hawkeye
Fear.
Chapter 5. Facing fears. Confused Nolan. Page 83 in my book.
Maybe.
Started 1 week ago (2009-11-15 23:14:00)
by LouisianaMan
So you expect everything to be peachy keen after four months? Everyone is wired differently. It may take you longer or not. Are you sure you were ready for another relationship?
I got a book that my therapist recommended to me and its workbook. The book is called : "Rebuilding, when your relationship ends". It is by Bruce Fisher and it explores why some people have trouble with subsequent ...
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