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Stepfamilies | Forum profile
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Forum profile page for Stepfamilies on http://ths.gardenweb.com.
This report page is the aggregated overview from a single forum: Stepfamilies, located on the Message Board at http://ths.gardenweb.com.
This forum profile page summarizes the general forum statistics such as: Users Activity, Forum Activity, and Top Authors, which are reported in either a table or graph below for a given reporting time period.
Additional forum profile information for "Stepfamilies" on the Message Board at http://ths.gardenweb.com is also shown in the following ways:
1) Latest Active Threads
2) Hot Threads for Last Week
Warning: These statistics are generated using 'best efforts' and can experience delays and reporting errors at times. Please note that such statistics do not constitute a forum's popularity and/or exact posting volumes at any given reporting period.
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Posting activity on Stepfamilies:
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Week
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Month
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3 Months
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Threads:
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57
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159
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452
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Post:
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172
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546
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1,898
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Stepfamilies Posting activity graph:
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Top authors during last week:
user's latest post:
Insensitive, thoughtless and rude.
Published (2009-12-14 16:13:00)
Oh Gerina, You are right the whole thing was insensitive, thoughtless & rude. I wish our spouses could see how always coming in last and never worrying about how stuff life this might uspet us rather than their precious "adult" babies ends up making us bitter & angry towards them. Our mates and supposed soft place to fall. Yea right. Anyhow, I do hope things went as smoothly as they could during this difficult (to say the...
user's latest post:
Drawing the battle lines...
Published (2009-12-13 14:43:00)
Ah, what the hell, sue him for child support. He is *married* to this person, at some level he *knows* she's no mother of any kind; for him to be in denial & take care of the baby himself is one thing; to be in denial when you're shouldering all the responsibility is another thing entirely. 'scuse me, my inner disgusted cynic just got the better of me. .................. .................. I'd bet she isn't...
user's latest post:
Drawing the battle lines...
Published (2009-12-14 13:37:00)
I did not read all the other posts IMA, but I think you are doing the right thing. Your son may want her to step up and be a mother, but leaving a child in the hands of a drug addict is dangerous. All it takes is her being high and that baby crying too much and setting her over the edge. I would not chance it if she is using drugs! Your son can be angry, but at least he will have a child to come home to.
user's latest post:
sad
Published (2009-12-14 19:28:00)
I'm pretty sure she drinks every night, but I don't know if she gets drunk every night. She gets drunk at least a couple of nights a week, I know that much. He should get custody, I agree, but he didn't. We are not sure we should try again. We were in court in 2008 and we could not prove the alcohol-problem BM has, our documentation was disregarded and FDH even got portrayed like he was nitpicking by the court counselor. It was...
user's latest post:
Newly married, still won't...
Published (2009-12-13 17:56:00)
"They have had this picture painted for them that we are just terrible people and she is completely the "victim." Yeah - But if she's bipolar, they probably don't exactly take her word for things like that... Best case, maybe your husband could talk to Ex-BIL and Ex-MIL and let them know that BioMom appears to be out of balance, and that he's concerned for her mental health. If he were to paint you as stable and...
user's latest post:
SD may be stealing from me . . .
Published (2009-12-12 20:22:00)
If I were in your shoes I would leave like a 20.00 bill in a basket on the counter next time she visits, make sure to mark it somehow.....if it majically dissappears when she is there, then you know you have a big problem! At least you will know if someones stealing or not!
user's latest post:
sad
Published (2009-12-14 16:35:00)
if she gets drunk daily while kids are at home, dad can file for full custody.
user's latest post:
Drawing the battle lines...
Published (2009-12-14 11:43:00)
When SD got in the car last night, DH asked her what play she was seeing... she stammered and couldn't tell him the name of it or what it was about. (BM didn't 'prepare' her enough I guess) Then she thought about it for a minute and gave him a title and started telling him it was about a guy that got caught cheating with two girls... Doesn't sound like a play you would drop kids off at...
user's latest post:
SD may be stealing from me . . .
Published (2009-12-12 12:12:00)
I'm sorry, imamommy, I really disagree with you. :( My kids have video games and they bring THEIR video games back and forth, and sometimes the consoles too. They can bring anything to their mom's that they want to, as long as it BELONGS TO THEM, with the exception of clothes. If they have a favorite item of clothing and/or a special occasion to dress for, we make an exception for that too. There are so many step families these days....
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Latest active threads on Stepfamilies::
Started 5 days, 20 hours ago (2009-12-10 15:02:00)
by sylviatexas
I'm so sorry. You know, there's often a lot to be said for keeping the peace, but there's also the tendency for people to take advantage of your willingness to do so. At some point, keeping the peace becomes "enabling"... & then soembody'll tell you that their piggishness is all your fault! I think at this point, I'd blow my stack at both of them without regard to consequences; ...
Started 2 days, 12 hours ago (2009-12-13 23:37:00)
by yabber
Quick update for the newer poster here: we have tried to deal with this problem when skids were younger because they were neglected then just as the babies are now, but to no avail. We involved CPS but they didn't see a problem and we also went back to court but the court counselor did nothing with the provided information (all documentation we had gathered over the years). Instead they ...
Started 4 days, 20 hours ago (2009-12-11 15:39:00)
by catlettuce
Hmm, can't advise much on the typical teen behavior, it's just something we all have to deal with bio or step, they get moody in the teen years. This too shall pass. As far as the possible stealing you could maybe call a family meeting with Dh & ALL the kids, have a list of things missing handy and ask all kids if they know whereabouts of misssing items. just to see if anyone caves & admits ...
Started 3 days, 10 hours ago (2009-12-13 01:15:00)
by catlettuce
Ima, I can only tell you this after spending much of my career working specifically with substance abuse & psych patients. You cannot reason with a practising drug addict/alcoholic/mentally unstable person. The addiction comes before everyone & everything, period. Even your kids. And if she's shooting heroin that is just the worst. For some reason the young folks love it and well if ...
Started 1 week, 4 days ago (2009-12-04 11:53:00)
by ceph
ROFL! I needed this laugh today! Just set it up the night before. Frame it as "I know it can be harried to get the kids out the door in the morning, so I'll set up coffee the night before to save you a step in the morning!" And on a side note... Wouldn't it be funny if DH also goes to a message board somewhere and made a post of "My DW makes the most terrible coffee. It's utterly ...
Started 6 days, 21 hours ago (2009-12-09 14:16:00)
by justnotmartha
Oh Love, I am sending you such big hugs right now - I hope you can feel them. I know how badly you wanted this, and I'm so sorry you weren't able to see your dream come true this time. I don't think you were AT ALL wrong for how you felt. After that devestating news I can't see how you would want to go anything but curl up in a ball in bed and have yourself a fine little pity party. I ...
Started 3 days, 18 hours ago (2009-12-12 17:14:00)
by stepmomof3
I guess I just wanted to tell my story and ask for advice on how to better deal with sticky situations. I lose my temper too often and it is very hard for me to respect her. Any advice on how to wrap my head around this so I can be the bigger person and be the best stepmom would be greatly appreciated.
Started 2 days, 12 hours ago (2009-12-13 23:38:00)
by yabber
Started 5 days, 20 hours ago (2009-12-10 15:17:00)
by ulrike1
Pardon the "step" pun. :) It doesn't make it any easier when it's you going through it, but the issues you are experiencing are very common in blended families! Almost a textbook case. It's great that you are going to bring in a "consultant." Does the person have experience with stepfamilies? Some of the issues are so unique! The one thing in your case that would be a HUGE challenge for ...
Started 1 week, 1 day ago (2009-12-07 12:55:00)
by sweeby
Sounds like a letter almost any mother could have written about an on-the-road Dad and a hormonal tween girl. May not sound like it, but that's actually good news! And for what it's worth, I can actually empathize with BioMom and Dad not wanting to discipline her in their short time together. So how to deal...? All I can suggest is patience, love and consistency. Which I'd guess ...
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Hot threads for last week on Stepfamilies::
Started 4 days, 20 hours ago (2009-12-11 15:39:00)
by catlettuce
Hmm, can't advise much on the typical teen behavior, it's just something we all have to deal with bio or step, they get moody in the teen years. This too shall pass. As far as the possible stealing you could maybe call a family meeting with Dh & ALL the kids, have a list of things missing handy and ask all kids if they know whereabouts of misssing items. just to see if anyone caves & admits ...
Started 6 days, 21 hours ago (2009-12-09 14:16:00)
by justnotmartha
Oh Love, I am sending you such big hugs right now - I hope you can feel them. I know how badly you wanted this, and I'm so sorry you weren't able to see your dream come true this time. I don't think you were AT ALL wrong for how you felt. After that devestating news I can't see how you would want to go anything but curl up in a ball in bed and have yourself a fine little pity party. I ...
Started 5 days, 20 hours ago (2009-12-10 15:02:00)
by sylviatexas
I'm so sorry. You know, there's often a lot to be said for keeping the peace, but there's also the tendency for people to take advantage of your willingness to do so. At some point, keeping the peace becomes "enabling"... & then soembody'll tell you that their piggishness is all your fault! I think at this point, I'd blow my stack at both of them without regard to consequences; ...
Started 1 week, 1 day ago (2009-12-07 19:13:00)
by sylviatexas
I'm so sorry. You might write down (document) the conversation wherein mom told her daughter that she "could not get SD what she wanted because DH did not give her enough CS". No child should be put in the position of hearing something like that.
Started 1 week, 1 day ago (2009-12-07 20:24:00)
by juba_mom
Every relationship has its ups and downs, whether it be husband and wife, mom and kid, or stepmom and stepson. I love my stepdaughter very much and even with all the drama and hardships that we have had, because of being a stepfamily. I wouldnt trade it for anything in the world. With that being said, everybody is different. I fell in love with my stepdaughter as I was falling in love with my ...
Started 5 days, 20 hours ago (2009-12-10 15:17:00)
by ulrike1
Pardon the "step" pun. :) It doesn't make it any easier when it's you going through it, but the issues you are experiencing are very common in blended families! Almost a textbook case. It's great that you are going to bring in a "consultant." Does the person have experience with stepfamilies? Some of the issues are so unique! The one thing in your case that would be a HUGE challenge for ...
Started 1 week, 1 day ago (2009-12-07 12:55:00)
by sweeby
Sounds like a letter almost any mother could have written about an on-the-road Dad and a hormonal tween girl. May not sound like it, but that's actually good news! And for what it's worth, I can actually empathize with BioMom and Dad not wanting to discipline her in their short time together. So how to deal...? All I can suggest is patience, love and consistency. Which I'd guess ...
Started 1 month, 2 weeks ago (2009-10-28 09:37:00)
by lovehadley
"His child is not going to die, he is giving him his kidney within the next couple of months and if all goes well he will be perfectly normal." Are you for real???? This child is having a KIDNEY TRANSPLANT!!! This is not some minor outpatient surgery! Good grief. Transplants carry a huge amount of risk with them, and if it were my child having such a SERIOUS surgery, I would be beside myself ...
Started 1 week, 1 day ago (2009-12-08 03:09:00)
by catlettuce
Mom2 I'm so sorry! Unfortunately I don't think you or the families can do anything more than what you already did/suggested. They are young and can't see the forest for the trees. If everyone keeps pushing them to wait they will run to the altar that much quicker. I know it is so difficult but would probably advise you to just try to keep the lines of communication open with your sis and ...
Started 3 days, 10 hours ago (2009-12-13 01:15:00)
by catlettuce
Ima, I can only tell you this after spending much of my career working specifically with substance abuse & psych patients. You cannot reason with a practising drug addict/alcoholic/mentally unstable person. The addiction comes before everyone & everything, period. Even your kids. And if she's shooting heroin that is just the worst. For some reason the young folks love it and well if ...
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