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Quote: Originally Posted by jhbremer What I've learned is this: pay attention to her ACTIONS, not her words! There is more in this simple quote than meets the eye. It makes me think of the line from Pink Floyd Quote: And all that time you were hanging yourself on someone elses words, dying to believe in what you heard. What I learned from this post is that we are easily deceived when someone is telling us what we want to hear.

Quote: Originally Posted by chisme68 ...even with your explanation, it still makes no sense. Sure, sometimes you need to summarise, but there's a difference between abbreviating the story and completely changing the nature of what has happened. You have asked the guys to help you make sense of how you approached this situation. The guys can't help much if they're confused about exactly HOW you approached this situation. Damn...

Quote: Originally Posted by GeorgeWSmith Cazador: Keep the album. Throw it in the closet, put it in the attic or toss it under the bed so its out of sight, but definitely keep it. Later, when you're over her, you can use it as a prop to develop 'social proof'. You can place it at the bottom of your bookshelf where its 'discoverable' but not prominent. When a future girl comes across it, she'll see the effort that...

"Wanted". The main character is total NG at the beginning, then takes charge of his life.

Never said I was indifferent about her being with the only person who is a link to my childhood outside of my family. Never said I was there yet either. That's why I'm not leaving the forum (read the end of my OP). But I'm doing real good considering the damage I've done to myself in the first 40-odd years. And a lot of the thanks goes to the people that cheer me on (like the guys earlier on in the thread) and the guys...

Quote: Originally Posted by RufWarrior The key is to gain an awareness of your amydala, acknowledge the crying out feelings in there, and then pass the buck to the cognitive brain. Both Susan Anderson's book and Bradshaw's Homecoming audio book have excellent strategies on how to do that. That is precisely why I have kept recommending them to you - because I see your problem, the fact it keeps coming back, and I don't see you...

Quote: Originally Posted by AdmiralWolf Rough sketch here. Today my therapist said that I was more engaging (this was after I start listing all of my problems, one after another, climaxing in stating that I was overwhelmed and miserable). He also said that connecting to my emotions / not being inside my head (cerebral) all the time was the key. That said, how does one connect to one's emotions easily? Or, did have I not gotten to that...

Quote: Originally Posted by Cazador Apropos, just this morning when I left home I put a handcrafted album my ex-girlfriend had made for me in the trash bag (although I didn't have time to put it in the bin). Our relationship is over though, so in my book, as much as I hate throwing so crafty away, it takes energy away from my moving on. Cazador: Keep the album. Throw it in the closet, put it in the attic or toss it under the bed so its...

Quote: Originally Posted by Cazador I think the sooner you make peace with the fact that most things are not under your control, the happier you'll be. You can only control yourself. Trying to do anything else is simply stupid.

Quote: Originally Posted by Hawkeye I've been doing exactly this of late. I became aware of what I've been calling my ego sometime ago. Then listening to The Power of Now made it more clear. So then I was using Superior Man to hand it over to the cognitive brain. So I've become aware and believe in this process. In fact the Doc's Emotional Integration articles touch on this. But yes, it's attacking it with bandaids....