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A recovering hospital patient sneaks out to the pub across the road. He walks up to to the bar, dressed in his pyjamas, with his drip in tow. The bar tender spots him and asks him what he would like. He says "A triple Brandy please . . . . although I shouldn't order one in my position really." The bar tender hands the drink across and asks "Oh why is that?" The man holds his hand up and takes a big...

I just got a mental picture of a load of customs officers carrying their dead sniffer dogs, that would be serious as they cost more to train than the customs men !!!!!

Then I give up, I don’t want to be responsible for the death of those poor animals. I guess I have to find other ways of delivering the stinky item hmmm Now back to the problem at hand, guys if you want to speak about TORTURE you have to talk to the expert Torture method one Child care Placing the subject in a kindergarten class with ….well…. about 20-30 kinds with ages between 5 and 10 will most definitely give positive results...

A guy comes in to a bar and orders a double whiskey. He drinks it and looks in his pocket. Then he orders another one, drinks it and looks in his pocket again. This is repeated a dozen times before the bartender asks him what he is doing. He replies, "In my pocket I have a picture of my wife. When she gets good looking, I quit drinking..."

Finnish Weather Explained +15°C / 59°F This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here. People in Spain wears winter-coats and gloves. The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan. +10°C / 50°F The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Finns plant flowers in their gardens. +5°C / 41°F Italian cars won't start. The Finns are cruising in cabriolets. 0°C / 32°F Distilled water freezes. The...

"I'm so scared of the swine flu, I don't even watch the View." - Larry the Cable Guy

Quote: Originally Posted by GothMelancolia You know one of these days I’ll get really mad and send a Special Package to Sats. I’m not sure that I’ll get passed the customs thou because of the stench and I’m afraid they’re going to arrest him for bringing chemical weapons inside UK borders. Other than that I would like to see his face when he will open (and smell) the box . So Mr. Satsumaruma, when it’s your birthday ? . and define...

Quote: Originally Posted by kensenbatusaii with all due respect how many traditional sensei did you had conversations about this? I dont see how they are able to see these tattoos when they are hidden in some obscure body area do they stare at their students in the changing room after practice? for all SOME of them care it doesnt matter its a free world and we are not HIS mother all he asked was suggestion for kanji not its morality if...

Quote: Originally Posted by SanguineKendoka I got bored and painted this. Not my best work, but whatever, I got paid. Pfft! I'll give you 20 quid for it eh?

Wow - those jail times are quite scary! So what are the rules for being able to possess a "samurai" sword then? (I noticed that was noticably absent from the article - typical for the mass media ...) Are they the same as in the UK?