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Quote: Originally Posted by biscuitcreek screens secrets

Three Rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower; Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife.' Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it. 'Two hours later...

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. What do you mean? said the pirate, I feel fine. Bartender, What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before. Pirate, Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now. Bartender, Well, OK, but what about that hook? What ...

For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some helpful hints....See the bottom of the page for some SEC specific fun. Women's Accessories: NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket. SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are ...

EFFECTIVE AUGUST 1, 2008 NEW OFFICE POLICY Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. 3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer ...

An old man was on his death bed, and wanted to be buried with his money. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.” At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and ...

Which are you? *Martha's Way* Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips. *Maxine's Way * Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway! *Martha's Way* To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes...

You've been waiting for them with bated breath so.... without further ado.... here are ..The 2008 Darwin Awards 8th place In Detroit, a 41 yr old man got stuck and drowned in 2 feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18 inch wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. 7th place A 49 yr old San Francisco stockbroker who 'totally zoned' when he ran, accidentally ...

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to >>> >> take >>> >> them to the county fair and sell them. >>> >> >>> >> At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After >>> >> talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything >>> >> 50/50. >>> >> >>> >> The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty ...